when i woke up this morning, everything hurt: my head, my shoulder, my back, my hip…after m got in the shower, i went back to bed. every time we pressed the snooze button, i was able to fall back asleep. however, once i got up and walked around, i was awake. a bit foggy, but awake. after dropping m off at work, i noticed that today’s sky is perfectly clear and i thought to myself: it’s a good day to try my lap around the neighborhood.

after walking and brushing anna and generally spending some QT with my puppy, i put on my favorite long sleeve bike jersey, my wind pants (the wind from yesterday decided to stick around today in the form of a breeze which even in 55 degree weather is chilly), and pumped up my rear tire. i hesitated for a moment before walking out the door: “should i run upstairs and get my hr monitor?” i decide that today i will not take a baseline reading. i will just enjoy my ride and see how i do. a reconnaissance ride, so to speak.

my goal is to bike to the ocean, up to san vicente and back down home via 17th. i pedal in the third easiest gear – the same gear i pedaled in two days ago. except for two brief muscle memory shifts, i stay in this gear the whole trip. despite having biked once before, i don’t feel overly confident. i am cautious but not scared. i breathe. i cross 17th when there is no traffic and begin pedaling north. i stop and signal at the intersection and now i can see the ocean. it is the bluest blue. the sky is a lighter blue above it. it is an abstract painting; a study in blue. how could i even think i would stay inside and bike? it feels like spring. it is time to bike outside.

it’s early enough on sunday morning, that there isn’t too much traffic. what traffic there is, is respectful and allows me to proceed forward when we both arrive at the intersection at the same time. i am careful about starting up from a stop. i unclip my right leg so i don’t jar my left. but this means that i must push off with my left when i start moving forward again. i do so gingerly but confidently, trying not to torque my joint. unlike my previous bike persona, my goal today is not to speed. it’s to cherish the ability to bike again and enjoy the sunshine. now that i’m home, i’m almost sad i’m not still biking. all in good time, my dear, all in good time…

i make it to the ocean. i feel pretty good. let’s continue, i think to myself. i signal, like i always do, that i’m turning right. there’s a mazda 3 ahead of me also turning right. it is the same dark blue as KL’s mazda. i wonder how he is doing in costa rica visiting volcanoes. we wait for the sunday morning pedestrians to cross ocean ave. i proceed on a green light. the mazda zooms away; i stay in my third easiest gear. i look to my left. this is when i see how brilliantly gorgeous the ocean is. i should really come visit the ocean more. anna and i should just come and sit and read and write. i want to duplicate this blue scene that i am witnessing but i don’t know if charcoal or colored pencil will adequately capture the image i now have in my head.

wow, ocean ave goes uphill. i don’t notice because i’m breathing hard. i notice because there’s a slight burn all along both my legs. these are things i never really noticed before, zooming past these cars and through my life at 20 mph in a much faster gear. i watch the parked cars on my left, the pinecone like obstacles on the road, and the traffic on my left. it seems a bit far to san vicente, but i still feel good. i can do this.

and then there it is. i turn and relax a bit because there is virtually no traffic and the street is wide and welcoming. at about 4th street, i notice my legs burning again. i was biking about 1 revolution per second or 60 revolutions per minute. this is not exact, of course. i noticed that my speed was about 9.5 mph. after 4th street, my speed drops to 7.5 mph and my cadence to 45 rpm. there’s a stop sign at 7th. i unclip again. this time there’s more traffic. there’s a large black suv on my left and a black bmw on my right who is turning right. i wait, hoping that when i start again, i don’t wobble or fall. and ultimately i don’t. i remount my bike gingerly and confidently again, focusing on moving forward, not moving forward at the speed of light.

there are lots of people out on this beautiful sunday morning. runners, bikers, walkers. a few bikers pass me. and then a few more. i am only going about 9 mph and i don’t mind them passing me. this is not a race. this is me getting my life back, one gentle step at a time. this is exactly what i need: exercise, fresh air, something that makes me feel good.

my final turn is onto 17th where i head south. there are lots of parked cars, but virtually no traffic in this quiet area between san vicente and montana. i pass alta, one of my favorite east/west streets. i stop at montana and hear a cacophony of chatter from the patrons sitting outside enjoying sweet lady jane. m and i did that a few weeks ago. i prefer susina’s fare, but i certainly enjoyed our time sitting in the sun with our puppy. suddenly, i’m zooming downhill. i look at my cyclometer: 13.5 mph. i slowly brake. not only is this downhill slope messing with my average speed, it’s also not the speed i want to be going. so i keep applying pressure to both brake levers while i pedal to keep my legs moving at a comfortable speed. i have no desire to go any faster. i’m enjoying myself just fine, thank you very much. “who is this person?” i think to myself.

as i near home, i unclip my left leg out of habit and reclip it as i’m unclipping the right one. i do this while i’m slowing down and realize that i’m doing too many things at once. it all turns out ok as i slow to a halt and catch myself on my right leg. i balance on my left as i swing my right leg over the seat. at this point, 9 months ago, my left hip would not be happy with me. it would be tired and wouldn’t like me bearing my full weight while my hips twist. but right now, my left hip seems pretty content with all that has happened. i should probably do some back and ab exercises, though; i’m starting to feel my age in these places now.

i am home. i am about to take a shower and go to an open house. my first thought as i neared the end of my ride: i like this neighborhood. maybe we should stay.

summary: 4.58 miles / 32.15 minutes / 8.3 mph average speed (even with the 13.5 mph throwing it off)