yesterday, i called the financial institution where i have a retirement account and asked them if i needed to do anything now that my beneficiary is my spouse and not “other.” he congratulated me but then hemmed and hawed a bit and stammered something about how they simply follow federal law but with all the changing laws…they will check with their legal department and get back to me. they returned my call today to notify me that they do indeed follow federal law and IRS guidelines and the IRS hasn’t yet updated themselves to recognize my california marital status. oh, don’t worry – they will. they definitely will.

unfortunately, i was distracted today so i didn’t even mention or begin to address the “DOMA has been rendered unconstitutional and if you were holding ms. windsor’s finances you would be well aware that she is no longer taxed 50% on her spouse’s (not ‘other’) assets.” but i’m not kicking myself too hard for a missed opportunity because my mentioning this doesn’t really change anything at the molecular or global level. in this particular situation, all that really matters is that piece of paper and i understand and even accept that bureaucracy takes a while to catch up. and it will. it definitely will.