i’ve been on crutches for so long that they have become part of how i see myself. when i get up, i involuntarily reach for them. when i imagine myself doing things, i see myself swinging along on two sticks. only once did i get up and not think about using them (and then i chastised myself so hard that i erased any and all memory of not using crutches). i’ve even learned how to carry large, awkward objects and still use crutches effectively (the key is using one’s hip to push the crutch along when one’s hand is carrying aforementioned awkward item). but in exactly 11 minutes, i get to put 60 lbs of pressure on my left leg and then i’m only a few weeks away from having to develop a new self-identity.