ok, since i’m being so honest these days, i should reveal that i am afraid of rejection. it paralyzes me. it keeps me from making phone calls. it keeps me from asking for favors and help. i reckon it also keeps me from being vulnerable.

i forgot m’s credit card payment last month due to surgery brain and i paid a hefty $19.55 price for this forgetfulness. i called right away on the $19 late fee but when the $0.55 finance charge showed up yesterday, i figured i’d just pay it and forget about it. instead, i took a big, deep breath and called to ask that it be included in the courtesy credit. and it worked. i was not rejected. seems awfully trivial, this little finance charge, this little victory. but i faced my fear and i’m still alive.

i have no illusions that i won’t ever be rejected again, but at least i can say that i won this one.